"Earlier today... [someone] found... a suspicious bomb."Is there any bomb that's not suspicious? If so, my guess is, Al-Qaeda/Hezbollah/Ooga-Booga-Bocca-Rocca-Rry already is securing a contract with them. The supplier is likely some poor unemployed scientist-soul in Russia. =;o)
"Everybody plays the fool,
No exception to the rule;
It may be factual
It may be cruel,
Everybody plays the fool."
--from Aaron Neville's 1991 remake of "Everybody Plays the Fool;" the 1972 original was by The Main Ingredient.]
Wordulous (adjective): Given to inventing creative new words because one's large vocabulary needs sustenance.Guilty! =xoD
You are so wordulous, it's scary!
"PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms."
"It would have been better if the teacher just killed one of those kids"From a strictly numerical standpoint, he's right. Second-degree murder carries a minimum penalty of 25 years imprisonment in many states - this woman is facing 40.
"The palest ink is better than the best memory."AFAIC: As Far As I'm Concerned - because sometimes, I don't care whether I'm accurate or not. =;o) :: giggle ::
"Julie Amero, a substitute teacher in Norwich, Connecticut, has been convicted of... risking injury to a minor..."Show me the guns, the knives, the re-bars, the anvils.. I don't see injury here. Seeing a little bit of porn doesn't break bones - and in the long run, probably wouldn't do much of anything - even mentally - to the most prudish of those students.
"A few students were crowded around a PC; some were giggling."I'd have to say that the potential for even emotional injury just went down quite a bit.
"This is nothing but a return to the witch trials in New England..."Years of FUBAR news have already caused me to lose faith in this portion of a famous Patriotic writing:
"...and Justice for all."Last time I checked, Justice is not the malicious prosecution of persons who had no intent to do wrong.
"When Germany invaded Denmark in World War II, the Hungarian chemist George de Hevesy dissolved the gold Nobel Prizes of Max von Laue and James Franck into aqua regia to prevent the Nazis from stealing them. He placed the resulting solution on a shelf in his laboratory at the Niels Bohr Institute. After the war, he returned to find the solution undisturbed and precipitated the gold out of the acid. The gold was returned to the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences and the Nobel Foundation presented new medals to Laue and Franck. This is currently on display in the London museum."I've heard of eccentric, ingenius plans.. but this one's off the Richter scale!
Grandma: "Why are you grinning like a Cheshire Cat?"That's probably as good an answer as any - I haven't the foggiest idea as to what provoked the feline smile in question.
Me: "You mean I look that good?"
|the Idiot Savant|
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT
You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.
Because it's so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but paradoxically enough, that indicates you're smarter than most.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my best friend's best test:The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece
|My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:|
|Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test|
Sorry for the delay- some nutjob came on the bus with two baseball bats. He wanted to beat someone up- I had to drop things, thought it might be a robbery. Its ok thou, hes gone now.I realized exactly how odd that sounded about 10 minutes after saying it; I had dismissed a potentially dangerous situation, as if it were just another traffic jam on the Interstate!
"The best way to survive a knife fight, is to never get into one in the first place."On a larger scope, as far as I'm concerned, this is a mantra for modern life.
"Some people are afraid of ketchup!" --A little kid at a local Wendy's restaurant.Sometimes, the cutest and most funny things in life make no sense, and are connected to little else - hence, that's why I'm starting the major category tag Encyclopaedia Absurdia.
"What Non-Furries hear=xoD
YIFF YIFF SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRITCH YIFF YIFF FURSONA YIFF YIFF CHANGE MY DIAPER SCRITCH SCRITCH YIFF YIFF OMG FURSECUTION!"
"Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out; who's left?"4.) Enjoy your newfound privacy - the constant pressing of the Repeat button by the poor red-eyed spook tending the server cluster at midnight will leave no resources to analyze warrantless wiretap goodies. =:o)
Our Elders are the vessels of our species' knowledge - and more importantly, experience. This priceless, subjective asset cannot be stored in any book or computer memory; this is why they deserve the respect of their juniors - our respect.You can apply this either to the real-life Human species, or to any of the species of the Kitarian Universe. In fact, it's probably panuniversal.
"The first words I spoke in the original phonograph:Even in the age of MP3s, iPods, and file-swapping, the principle this brilliant man first put into action at the close of the 19th century (?), still hasn't changed as we ride the first wave of the Third Millennium.
Mary had a little lamb, his fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go."--Thomas Alva Edison, retelling the results of the first test of an invention which would change forever how we communicate and entertain.
"Maybe they can get rid of the furries while they're scraping out the gray goo."Now, think about the following quote from this article:
"As has been widely reported, that interview, which took place in front of a packed house in CNET Networks' Second Life theater, was sabotaged by a group of "griefers" who attacked Anshe Chung with a 15-minute digital barrage of flying penises and doctored pornographic images..."Continuing:
"[C|Net:] How are they defaming? Isn't it just parody? Bad taste, but parody nonetheless?Does anyone still think we're the ones that most need to be scraped out of Second Life?! LMAO!
Graef: ...But even according to American standards, I think imagery that shows penises forced onto a woman is a gross sexual assault and by far not a parody."
Scota: "Do you prefer the world you live in, over reality?"He might have been ruled insane by the standards of [fictional] psychiatry.. but the schizoid man's words carry the weight of a sad piece of wisdom. I'd have to agree with him - who wouldn't prefer a world of fantasy, over the growing darkness in our shared world of reality?
Schizoid suspect: "I'd be crazy if I didn't, wouldn't I?"
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